When the divorce decree was finalized almost four years ago, I wanted to just soak in the quite, safe environment that I found myself in. Nothing was further from my mind than dating, especially because I had two great children to keep me fulfilled. About a year and a half ago a change came over me. I started noticing that I missed being around men and felt that I was ready to get back in the game. I had no clue how to start.
As I looked for opportunities to mix it up a little, I found that I was completely out of my league. All around me were seasoned competitors who had been honing their skills while I went to the zoo with my kids and spent Saturday mornings doing laundry. I determined very quickly, that I was an amateur who had been thrown into the ring with a whale-of-a-lot of talented, fast thinking professionals. And I needed some serious coaching.
Fortunately, I had a close friend named Zandra who sat me down and asked me some very valuable questions.
Zandra: What are you looking for this time around?
Me: A companion.
Zandra: Are you flirting or do you really want a relationship?
Me: The real deal.
Zandra: How would your children feel if you found someone special?
Me: They would be elated!
Zandra: Are you prepared to invest in the process?
That last question really got to me. I was thinking that you put on some jeans and a happy smile and when given a chance, act interested in what men say, and before you know it, someone shows an equal interest in you. Zandra started to laugh when I explained my strategy. Girl, she said, “You are in t-r-o-u-b-l-e.” So apparently, dating doesn’t work that way any more. “What are men interested in?” I asked. “If jeans won’t do it any more, how do I get someone’s attention?”
“I’ll give you some choices and you guess what might be a super-magnet for genuine, lifetime companions”, explained Zandra. “But first you have to know one important thing. In Stage 1 of dating, a man’s heart is connected directly to his eyes. You need a personal prop, that says something special about you, even before he hears your voice, gets your email, or tastes your cooking. It’s all about the eyes!”
“Okay, give me the list.” I looked over a list of ten items and couldn’t find one thing that made any sense. The prop-list included Shoes, Glasses, Car, Sweaters, Books, Hair, Purses, Nails, Make-up, and Hats. “You mean to tell me that in this list there is a magic bullet, a heart-stopper.” “There is!” exclaimed Zandra. “I guarantee it.”
I guessed five different things that were completely off based before I came to the word “hair”. “HAIR, its hair!” “Men don’t care about hair”, I said. “You would be surprised”, countered Zandra. “It is the magic potion.”
“Hair tells your life story”, she said. “It suggests how comfortable you are with yourself and expresses the warmth of your heart. Long hair shows patience and a willingness to build a long-term relationship. Men want to come home to a woman who treats her flowing hair in the same flexible way that a man wants to be treated. All in all, hair is a much better predictor of happiness than any fortuneteller’s crystal ball.”
I had a problem – a very big problem. My hair hadn’t been cared for, the way it should have been, for four years. It wasn’t long with patience nor flowing with flexibility. It was course, chopped, dull, and ugly. I was discouraged and Zandra knew it. “You’re coming with me”, she said. “I have the answer to your transformation.”
The next Saturday, Zandra had arranged for a place for the children and had me speeding toward her hair stylist by 9:30 a.m. “What’s the plan?” “You’ll see when we get there.” Upon reaching the salon, I was greeted by a stylist, who made me feel like we were old friends. Within minutes, I had complete confidence in whatever she might do. “What are we going to do this time?” the stylist asked Zandra. “We are giving her the heart-stopper special”, beamed my friend.
I’ll have to tell you, I’ve never had so much fun, not knowing what was going to happen. One thing led to another and before you knew it, I was being reinvented with long and flowing hair extensions. It was one of the most special days of my life.
Now, you may want to know the rest of the story. Four days after the makeover, while at work, I got the attention of one of my co-workers named Jim, who had always been interesting but never interested, if you know what I mean. He took a look at me and told me later that he felt a difference in me that he had never felt before and had no idea why I had made such an amazing impression on him, in one day, in one moment.
Zandra and I have never told Jim the complete story, mainly because it’s a girl thing. But what I want you to know is that my children and I have fallen in love with a man who has brighten our lives. Tomorrow, we will have been married one full year and to get ready for the event and keep the magic going, I have an appointment to fill and replenish my Donna Bella hair extensions.